Surprise Entrant Wins Boston Marathon! Cook E. Monster Gets His Just Desserts

"I guess I took the cake today," said a humble Cook E. Monster, as he faced the horde of photographers and well wishers at the finish line of the world's oldest annual foot race.   "People have always thought that I had a chocolate chip on my shoulder, but honestly, I'm just a shy guy who likes to run."  He dipped his head into a glass of milk and wiped away a crumb.  "It's all about the consistency," he added.  "Ever since I can remember,  I've had this knead, 'Run, run as fast as you can...you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man.'  So I ran and always tried to stay centered."  Suddenly a hush fell over the crowd as the enigmatic Dr. I.M.A Stalk whisked his way into the mix.  "I've had my EYE on him ever since we shared freezer space with Cookies and Cream," he uddered.  "The only time he wasn't on high speed was when he was playing video games.  In fact, it was the summer that he outran Berralina's runners that I knew he had the recipe for success."  Stalk blinked, tossed some patriotic sprinkles into the air, and disappeared.  Cook E. Monster cracked a smile, dabbed at his brow with some parchment paper, and said, "He's the only green vegetable I've ever liked."  A ship's bell clanged in the harbor.  Cook E. Monster's three eyes glazed over.  In front of everyone, he spun himself down into a tiny ball then jettisoned into the air.  "My timer's up," he said.  "I'm off to drop in on Captain Potato and bake in the midday sun."