To: Captain Potato

From: Nicky

Subject: If You Need Another Pirate

My name is Nicky

Some people say I'm rude

I like to be THE MEAN GUY

I gobble toads for food

I crush anything I want to

I do it just for fun

I pack a sack of bullets

To keep "good guys" on the run

I can fight using weapons

I can fight using words

I can fight the strongest bullies

I can fight the weakest nerds

There's just one thing that I must know

Before I join your crew

Do any little kitties

Ever sail the seas with you?

I'm not a fan of felines

I don't like them at all

They hiss

They scratch

They cough up

A gross and furry ball

So "dear" Captain Potato

If you would like me in your rank

Gather all your cats together

And have them purr-fectly walk the plank