Email (with attachment)

Fr: Professor Electra

To: Dr. Stalk

Drop everything (unless it’s a breakable test tube with a morphing doodle in it) and get here NOW! You won’t believe your eye!!! I was spelunking in the black hills of South Dakota when I spied this……….

It’s a drawing from the cave wall.

It’s a T-Rex. I’m sure of it – long body, short arms, short legs, HUGE teeth. But who could have drawn it? T-Rex was already extinct for 30,000 years by the time cavemen got here.

Oh and there’s a bunch of other shapes, too. One of them is the biggest oval I’ve ever seen. Another one is a giant triangle with little circles all over it. And if my eyes were not deceiving me I could swear I saw something that looked like a pair of c…..c….c…crab legs ---j…j…j… just crab legs and they were standing on a circle next to something that looked a lot like shrimp!!!! I’m very disturbed.

Hurry,

Professor Electra

E-mail

Fr: Dr. Stalk

To: Professor Electra

Take a few cleansing breaths, Professor. We don’t want your eyes to bug out any further than they already do. There are two things I must tell you before I Think and Blink and transport myself to the cave. Number One, I do not know how a cave person could have known about Tyrannosaurus Rex, but I suppose magic has always happened. Number Two, I am bringing Horatio. He might be able to decipher some symbols.

South Dakota here I come,

Dr. I. M. A. Stalk

After reading the email, Professor Electra turned off his computer and raced as fast he could on his bowed purple legs to meet his friends at the mouth of the cave. By the time he arrived, Dr. Stalk and Horatio had already dusted themselves off from their landing and were adjusting the lights on their miner’s hats to high beam. With no time to waste, Professor Electra gave them each a quick hug, turned on his over-sized flashlight and led the way into the darkness. The cave was spooky and leathery batwings flapped overhead, but the trio pressed on undeterred.

“There it is!” shouted Electra as his high beams struck a wall deep inside the cave, “The drawing of the T-Rex!” He scuttled towards it, and bounced his light across the span of the wall, revealing more and more of the painting’s complexity. Dr. Stalk and Horatio ducked their heads and anxiously followed him into the recess, their eyes growing wider with each step.

“Indeed,” it is the art of a cave dweller, but I won’t just need Horatio’s expertise in this effort,” said Dr. Stalk after several minutes of silent examination. “I will also need Chef Poire’s, because if I am correct, my friend, we are staring at the menu of the first restaurant. I believe,” he said, pointing one leafy hand to a white poof sitting on T-Rex‘s head, “that shape is the symbol for a chef’s hat.”

Then he lowered his light several feet revealing a long purple rectangle that “hung” under the T-Rex’s chin. “And that one,” he continued, tracing its outline, “is an apron – absolutely, an apron.” Dr. Stalk paused and faced his friends, a look of consternation clouding his eye, “Could it be that the very dinosaur we deem to be the most terrifying was just a nice guy who liked to cook?”

“Quite possibly,” said Horatio, who was using a tail feather to sweep ancient dust from a row of glyphs. “His name was Jacob the Chef T-Rex”, he read, “and he must have been nice. He liked to dance. He liked the color green because green means LIFE. And, he had a pet – a dog called Game (because he liked to play games).”

“Intriguing” said Dr. Stalk, straightening his scarf and preparing to transport himself to the Eiffel Tower. “I must retrieve Chef Poire from La Boulangeroodle at once. Horatio,” he said right before he vanished into thin air, “if you could have the ancient entrees deciphered by the time we get back, I would be most appreciative.”

“Will doodle-do,” Horatio crowed and that’s precisely what he doodle-did. Upon their return, for the first time in millennia, Jacob the T-Rex Chef’s menu was read out loud:

“Shrimp and Crab Legs Stegosaurus (Sorry, Professor Electra, crustaceans have always been popular with the palette)

Pterodactyl Eggs Over not so Easy (made with the world’s biggest and heaviest eggs)

Spaghetti with Woolly Mammoth Meat Balls

“And...” he said cackling, “Something’s just never change! The last item and the Specialty of the Cretaceous Period:

A slice of pizza with extra cheese!”